sing and song

its raining. as if the day can feel the sadness. uishh. memang menganjing. these few days, im kinda having an so called insomnia. waking up in the middle of night, trying to get back to sleep, but obviously i cant. feeling very deep sorrow and hole in my heart. i wonder what is happening to me. x best la feeling ni. however, there is always things that calm me down. give me strength, and make me feel better every single night. thank god. :)  if i just realize what i didnt. and looking at you, enjoying and love the way i lie. which one should i regret more, i lied, or i blind?  BIG question over there. even i cant bear to hear the radio cause every single songs that i heard, i vividly imagining things that i have been through and relate it to the songs. crap! if there is no life after you, then what life am i going through now? ntah pape la lagu Daughtry ni. my mom always said that, appreciate things front of you. dont think too much about the past. but mom, its the past that created me now. then, 'adek, there is a reason why people in our past do not appear in our present. just wait and see the hikmah'. i wonder why, how, and when i could see it. maybe im giving you too many exception in my life. as such, being the first of so many things in my life. well i cant take it back right? keep it je lah.

but when i heard the song of asking me to fight for the love, it makes me think, just so you know, that youre not alone in this thing, and there is always a part of my heart that you can call home. but why am i feel this way? alone, homeless in anyone's heart? i know why. ive been thinking too much of the sadness rather than cherish great moments and life that i have now. even the club cant handle me right now. watching you watching me i go all out. i do go all out when it comes to this matter, still it doesnt work. i my self cannot stop from thinking of this, after few days came back home, the history of foundation at Kuantan is stick in my mind like glue. dont ask me to forget, cause i dont want to. i had made so much promises that i couldnt remember each and every of it. simply because, i know thats what you wanted to hear. i promise this, promise that, to forget this, forget that, stop doing this, doing that. but we both forget to promise this. love each other until the end of our life, till the last breath of mine. i think we did, but its not being highlighted and written BIG enough in our head. maybe its just me. its only me. you sacrifice a lot, i mean, A LOTTT. i knew that all along. from the beginning of our story, until now. that is why its time for you to think to sacrifice for your self. okay? i cant stop blaming myself. haih. ntah sampai ble. maybe until i can see the happiness in yours. :) haa. now that can makes me happy. :)

maafkan saya. maafkan salah silap saya. maafkan segala kelakuan tutur kata, terasa hati, kesedihan yang dah dialami. jadilah muslim yang soleh. ajal maut xkenal siapa, masa, dan tempat. jadilah yang terbaik dunia akhirat. pastinya mendapat yang terindah kelak. selamat berjuang sahabat. :) *sambil bercakap depan cermin*